One Week

So I left home a week ago today, which is a rather hard concept for me to grasp and it feels as though I have been here far longer than a week. I have done and seen and met and experienced so many new things in such a short period of time that I guess it just feels like it has been so much longer.

Today was my third day of school, and I got up and walked to the autobus stop by myself, and got on by myself and got to school early for my Art History class, which is a zero period, and starts at 7:05 which is rather early since most of the week I don't start until 8:55. Anyways Art History sounded interesting, not like it really matters because I don't understand a word spoken in the class, but I suppose if anything it can only help with learning Czech, which is not easy at all.

I already have friends at school in my class, when i get back from language camp they want to take me to Legend, which is their favorite pub- so I'm looking forward to that.

My host family is going to Switzerland the week before Christmas, so I may be going with them. If I do we will be driving and will go through Austria, and Luxembourg(sp?) haha YES BREEGAN, where you told me to go, haha...funny how that happens.

and by the way my dear friend Breegan, if we thought math was hard, hey at least we could ask questions. If I ever thought I didn't know what was going on, its like ten times worse here....so I'm sure you can imagine.

I get out of school everyday at either 12:35 or 1:30 which is really nice, I'm hoping once I get back from language camp to maybe start dance lessons in the afternoons. Anyways we will see.
There is so much I could write on here, I wish my journal just automatically posted itself on here, that would be nice, I've written like 45 pages in it since being here, I guess that would be the writer in me.

OH and yes my STUPID husband, I have met my host dad thank you very much. AND yes I know what your "cough cough" insinuated, and I'm here to tell you that my heart is yours and that it will always be. haha. I think about the Beauty and the Beast room often, just so you know haha.

Okay I'm exhausted, so very exhausted.
Language camp starts Saturday and is for two weeks so if I don't update for awhile---well that would be why.

Hope all is well back in America or whatever part of the world you are finding yourself in today.

Chow

First Day of School

*my school and the dreaded steps I have to climb everyday.


So all of you back in America are at school right now...

and I'm done with my first day, which was crazy, and am dead tired.

It really is a lot more exhausting to go to classes in which you don't speak the language than one would expect, however the people are friendly and try and converse with me in English as best as they can, and I add in the few words in Czech I know every now and then

ano (yes) I say

or

prosim ( please)

or perhaps I utter

de kay ( thanks)

or na sheldanou ( goodbye)

but I try and add in what i can, and it works as best as it could with the little I know.

So weird occurence. or maybe it's just me that thinks its weird. But I met the other American at school today, and she is from Pennsylvania and graduated this year, and we were talking and I was like, " so are you going to college next year?"

and do you know what she said????? HUH?????DO YOU?????? She told me that yes, she was going to NYU. that she had been accepted this year and simply defered her acceptance and will be attending next year.

How weird right? AM I RIGHT? Out of all the cities in the Czech Republic why did this girl come to mine, out of the high schools in Ceske Budejovice why is she going to mine, and out of all the colleges to go to in the States, how is it she is going to the one that I want to be accepted into to?

HUH? tell me that isn't weird, that, that isn't some sort of sign. So maybe you don't believe in signs, but I believe in them and I'm telling you right now that is a sign if I've ever seen one..

So basically school here feels like college...I sort of feel like I'm sitting in on classes at NYU once again, although this time I'm not understanding anything.

But basically they gave me a master schedule of all the classes I can choose from for my grade and I get to just go to whatever one's I feel like this week, and then i just decide which one's I want to take.

Today I took Czech Literture, English which was taught in Czech, so all the directions were in Czech, so basically it wasn't any easier for me than any of the other classes. Then I had ethics, but the teacher didn't show up so we visted all class period, and then math, and physics.

Tomorrow I believe I have P.E., Psychology, Chemistry, Biology, Religion, and possibly French. I will be taking french, I just haven't figured out when or where, which again should be interesting since they will be teaching French in Czech.

After school, which today got out at 1:30, the time I get out will depend on how many classes I take each day, it will vary, Martina and I went and bought her dad a gift because yesterday was his birthday.

Oh and I forgot yesterday I went to my first European grocery store, Kaufland. European grocery stores are pretty neat, and their pasteries mmmmm....are to die for. Beer is also super super cheap.

Which reminds me, my host mom cracks me up, we were talking about drinking and she told me that I couldn't be falling down or puking....haha just the way she said it, it was pretty funny.

My host mom and I were supposed to go to aerobics class tonight, but it got canceled for some reason, so we will go on Thursday, she is awfully excited about this because Martina she claims is lazy and won't go with her.

Hope everyone's first day went well,
that you arn't bogged down with homework quite yet, because I don't believe I'll be having homework all year, and frankly I don't care. haha

Reporting live from the Holiday House
Ceske Budjovice
Czech Republic

Host MOM

My host mom is putting Eva down for her daily nap, and so I have a few moments to spare where I won't be wasting life on a computer when I should be living it up in the Czech.

So I was terrified to meet my host mom, they kept telling us before we left that our host mom's either make or break our trips and I sure didn't want mine broken.

I woke up this morning, oblivious to the time, which I seem to be constantly here as there is no clock in my bedroom, but I'll fix that soon enough. Anyways I walked down stairs, my stomach at the bottom of my toes, and all these insecure thoughts running through my head. I walked down the windy princess steps and saw the backside of a women on the telephone speaking Czech at a rather rapid pace. The moment she saw me she said Chow on the phone ( which is goodbye) and made her way over to introduce herself.

Her English is not perfect my any means but the two of us muster by, with what she says, and what I gather she is trying to say it works out rather nicely. She is a very nice women and has made me feel very at home. I think I will do just great in this family. Although I have yet to meet host dad, but I can't imagine Marketa is married to some mean man, she wouldn't be as sweet as she is. I believe that my host mom is a giver. So although I don't have my mom here with me-the giving women that she is, I have found my way into the care of a giving women, and for now- at this point in my life- that is going to have to be good enough. It is good enough.

It is very interesting all the weird things I keep noticing and experiencing. For example, my host mom grabbed a book all about South Bohemia, which is where I live, and I was flipping through and kept having these pangs of excitement and wonder as I flipped through all the pages. Now, I had looked at pictures and books before I left to come here, but there is something different about looking at pictures and being told that, that amazing castle you are staring at on that page is only 15 km down the road. It all is so very unreal to me, that this is my life, I feel like I'm living someone else's life, and in a sense i guess that I am, I am living their daughters life, but as myself, I am still Tahani. Tahani is living this, and when all is said and done, depsite how much I experience or learn or change I will still in the end be Tahani.

So meeting the host mom went well, so very well, and now the only part of this immediate family left for me to meet is my host dad. Wish me Luck!

Mom- I love you. miss you. Just me and you.

Zane- they have a dog, you would love it. I miss and love you.

THE LONG JOURNEY and the following days...

Okay my dear friends here is your friendly update. I suppose I should start from the beginning since my trip was not nearly as flawless as one would hope, but in truth I'm actually glad it wasn't or I would have missed out on a lot I experienced.

So, I arrived at pdx at 6:50 a.m. as my flight was to take off at 8:50. As we were supposed to be boarding the flight they let us know that there was a broken cable on the plane and that therefore it would be delayed until further notice. They did not have the needed part there to fix it, and so they would have to wait for it to arrive and then fix it. Since, I was not only going to Mineapoils but was flying international I had to wait in line so they could re-route me. So i waited in line, and they re-routed me, and my flight was to then take off at 12:10. As soon as I emerged from the ticket counter, this lady with this slight southern drawl approached me, told me she had talked to my mom while she was waiting to go through security and knew my story, and so she led me upstairs to the Club room, which is this v.i.p. room upstairs for first class members of northwest airlines. Anyways I sat and visted with her, her name was Jackie, as well as her husband Fred. They were from Tenessee and were in Portland visting their grandaughter who had recently moved there. So we visited and I told them all the places they needed to visit in Portland, Northwest 23rd, Pittock Mansion and so forth. It was weird telling them the in's and out's of a place I was getting ready to leave. I felt like an expert, and I guess in a sense I sort of am.

Anyways so I boarded the the flight at 12:10 p.m. and arrived in Mineapoplis at about four something. I went to the board to find my gate, went to my gate, collected my boarding pass from the very nice man, and went to go find food. So I found myself at Subway, and I ate, and then I went and found myself some coffee, because hello it's me we are talking about. So after all of that it was time to board the plane and I waited in line, boarded the plane and got comfortable. I had the window seat and as soon as I could sit down, this girl with this pinkish colored hair sat next to me. So we sat there for awhile not talking, but curiousity got the best of me and I wanted to know her story so I broke the ice. " Is Amsterdam your final destination?" I asked, and from there, there didn't seem to be a point where conversation ceased to exist.

So we are sitting on the flight to Amsterdam, having yet to take off, when the pilot comes over the intercom and informs us that there is an issue with the plane and that they are going to try and fix it as soon as possible. So we sit there. and we sit there. and we sit there. Meanwhile the girl next to me, whose name is Shannon, and I are getting to know eachother quite well. It turns out that no Amsterdam was not her final destination and that she was going to India on a missiont to teach women there how to read and write. The pink hair turned out to be an accident, her hair had been blonde the day before, and she tried to color it brown, and pink is what came out. She also turned out to be 22, although she looked about 15. Oh, and it was funny because after we talked for quite sometime, and I told her I was 16, she couldn't believe it. And she admitted to being afraid to talk to me, and had thought that I was like 20 or possibly older than her, and that she would have to be all quiet during the flight. We really laughed at that one. She also is married and has been since she was 19, and claims that being married is the best thing, that she had always been wary of it, but that it was so much better than she could have imagined. We talked all about the married life, and how her and husband met. Anyways while we were getting to know eachother 3 hours had passed, and we still hadn't left the ground. So they had us all get off that plane, and go get on another one.

We had the same seats ofcourse and so Shannon and I continued to have really good conversation, and then eventually we both drifted off to sleep. So then we arrived in Amsterdam late, naturally, since we'd left about 4 hours late, and I missed my connecting flight to Prague. This was at about 1p.m. and once I went and stood in line to get another flight there wasn't one available until 7:25 and so I had all that time to wander around the Amsterdam airport, which really wasn't so bad. Although I do believe that I may die of second hand smoke this year, they smoke everywhere. Anyways so I went and ate, and then I wandered around and kept sitting in different locations watching people, and let me just tell you, European men...well they just happen to be so much more attractive than boys at home, and they have this certain demeanor about them which just makes them that much more attractive. So i watched a lot of them, but sadly none of them were looking at me ( trust me, no one was looking at me, you should have seen me by this point, I looked like I'd been ran over several times).

So i take my flight to Prague, and I get there and go to baggage claim. Now you have to understand that I was rather worried about finding my luggage as my luggage had to be re-routed twice and so you can understand how it would have been quite easy for it to not get where it needed to be. So i stood at the baggage rounder, sliding my ring up and down my finger ( a nervous habit of mine, if you didn't know) and I waited and waited. and finally I spotted one of my bags, so I grabbed it and hauled it off. So then I waited. and waited. and after awhile there were no more people, and no more bags, and I was still one bag short. So I gathered up the bags that I did have and went to the baggage counter, but as I approched there was this big pile of all these bags, and I spotted one and swore it was mine. So instead of standing in line I marched right over to that bag, and looked at the tag, and sure enough it was mine. So i took my baggage claim tags out, showed them to the lady and was finally on my way.

As I walked out of the baggage claim area there were four friendly faces holding a sign that read my name. Martina- my host sister. Lanka- My host mothers cousin. Paul- Lanka's boyfriend. and Martina's grandfather.

I arrived at my house, which is quaint and has more character than any house at home, and is, in my opinion way better than the Holiday house. The staircase is wooden and spins around, a lot like in Princess movies you watch when you are younger. My bedroom is cozy, and is the largest one in the house, which makes me feel rather bad, because my intention was never to put anyone "out" in coming here. So by the time we got home that night it was midnight, and I showered and went to bed.

The next morning- my first day in the Czech, I did not awake unitl 1p.m. talk about jet lag. Anways, I got up and got ready, and then Lanka and I sat out on a walk to see the town. The town is not too large, it only consists of 100,000 people. So we walked to the towns main square, which was quite a walk, but it's flat land so really it's not a big deal. We sat in a cafe in the square and I had some coffee that I'll never be able to remember the name of, but it was good and had whip cream on top, and was in this glass cup that was clear and had a handle on the side.

After that we walked past my school, which is four stories, and went to catch the tram. My first tram ride in the Czech. Lanka explained the system, how to pay, and which stop is the one by my house. It costs 12 crowns for a ticket for twenty minutes which is more than plenty of time to get home, which is about 50 cents.

We went back to the house where we visted and had coffee, and I sat and played with Eva ( pronounced Eh va) who is two, and awfully cute, and I think I gained her approval after pushing her around in this basket that she is enthralled with.

Martina had been gone most of the day spending time with her boyfriend, but then she came home and brought him, his name is Oteek ( OH teeeek) and he is rather interesting looking, but he seems fairly nice. The trip however, which I didn't learn until later that night is that he is 22. I REPEAT 22, Martina is only 14. Yeah, I think I about fell over when she told me his age. She claims though that her mother loves him. Anyways I knew Martina and I would be good friends after that, because we both have a thing for older men, haha.

Anyways, after awhile I went upstairs, and I stared at my suitcases and decided that now was as good a time as ever to unpack. and so i did. Everything I own at this time is either hanging in my closet or in my cupboard thingys in my wardrobe. It makes staying her a bit more real.

Then Martina came upstairs and told me we were leaving for the concert in five minutes. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, we were going to a concert, in a pub. I was rather excited. So I slipped on a pair of jeans and my flats and was on my way. The pub we went to was called Mr.Brown's Pub and they had a sign painted on the wall that said " Black People" and made me laugh really hard. Martina's friend met us outside, and as we were about to walk in informed me that I didn't need to pay to get it, just to smile at the guy as I walked in, and he'd let me in. So I did, and he did, and he created a flower in sharpie on my arm to show I'd already paid, which still at the moment is on my arm, I didn't scrub as hard as I could have, I sort of want it to stay there. Anyways, the concert had already started before we had got there so the music could be heard as we were walking in. The atmosphere was all smokey as they can smoke in the pubs and smelled of cigarettes and weed. I kept meeting and being introduced to people. This one girl I met, Linda, well I believe I should only hang out with her if I want to find myself in trouble. She is a crazy one, and took quite the interest in me because she wants to improve her english. Anyways, she taught me cuss words in czech, and kept finding me throughout the night to talk to me. We stood and danced to the band for quite awhile, and then Lanka and I went and sat down and were talking to people. There were attractive boys all around, but it's sort of hard to talk to any of them when you can't speak the language. haha, that may be my motivation to learn faster. I however, am not doing too bad. I have quite a few of the basics down.

Anyways my friends, my first pub experience was amazing to say the least, and I really feel bad for us American kids, that we miss out on this until we are 21, because it is an awful lot of fun. Oh and europeans are all over eachother, so really don't complain about pda at home, you have no idea what pda is...really....haha.

Today I got up and got ready and Lanka and I took Eva for a walk, across the street there is a river and a path so we went walking there, apparently you can bike on that same path and get to that castle that is the background on my myspace...the land is flat here so I can't imagine it's to bad of a ride. Eva got tired of riding in the stroller and wanted me to carry her, so I did, I'm glad she likes me.

Oh I forgot, Martina and I went outside the pub together to get some fresh air, because it gets rather hot in that enviornment and we had good conversation, I really like her, her english isn't so good and so it is hard for us to communicate, but we both try and so it ends up working fairly well.

School starts tomorrow, although I will not be going. My host parents do not get home until the morning and I have to go into Prague and register at the police station, so maybe I will go to school tuesday, I'm not quite sure.

I really like it here, my house, my town, my city, my host sisters, I only hope my host parents take to me as well as the rest of their family. I really think I'm going to do well in this family, and I can't wait to find out how the rest of my time is going to unravel. The weird thing is that yes I'm still me, but I feel different, I don't know how quite to explain it, like I'm out of my normal element, and generally I don't dance, or at least don't feel comfortable doing so, but last night I was fine, I was having fun, and I wasn't worried about people around me because they were all doing the same thing. It just didn't feel as high pressure as it seems to me in the states, and I just like that is all, it just allows me to feel more confident in my own skin.

Okay, I think I've kept you updated. Hope all is well at home, or in whatever country you may be reading from. Live life, because as someone great once told me Life is short so you've got live fast. Don't worry about the past or the future, because all that matters is the moment in which you are living--right now.

So get out there and live, you only get one shot at this life thing
don't let it pass you by.

Leaving

Leaving. One word. Yet the power it holds; contains is limitless; never ending. It can be the turning over of a new leaf; the leaving behind of the old. It can consist of exiting a life of fear and entering one of comfort. It could mean letting go of the love of your life, because although it may be the hardest thing to do, it may just be the right thing. The one thing about leaving that always rings true is that it's scary. It doesn't matter if you're leaving something good behind or something full of hurt and brokedness. It will still remain scary. Yet, despite that we all have to do it at some point in our lives. We all feel that pit in our stomaches that resonates throughout our entire bodies-yet in the end we push through that and make our exit. We Leave.

One week and counting...

At this point I have about a week left, or perhaps only six days, I'm not sure. Regardless, that is very little time, so little that I don't even know what to do with it. My bags are packed so that is one less area I need to spend my time-but now what? How do I decide how to slice and dice my time and dish it out? How do I want to leave this place?what last experiences would I like to have before I go? I don't know. Each day I wake up with the intention of getting so much done, of getting a few "goodbyes" out of the way, of seeing certain places for the last time, and despite the fact that I have the best of intentions I end the day early and without a fraction of what I wanted to do accomplished. It is a rather unsettling and sickening feeling that I can't seem to shake. I need to shake it, some way, somehow.

Climbing back up from the meltdown...

I recently have become aware of how much I overestimated myself, of the fact that I'm not nearly as strong as I had previously thought. I thought that leaving was going to be fairly easy, that I was going to handle it well, and throughout most of Summer I did. Or i suppose I just didn't think about it so it wasn't real. It hit me though, and when it did it hit hard. I stopped talking to people, stopped answering my phone and spent a mass majority of my time either crying or sleeping. I am however at the tail end of that and find it hard to cry these days. I think perhaps I cried so much that I'm just numb to it anymore, which maybe is a good thing. I've heard from my host family now, and am pretty much packed and ready to go, and I think I'm dealing, or at least handling leaving. It is going to be so good for me, and I am going to grow and learn and experience so much. Despite the fact that I'm going into something entirely unknown, I think I'm ready. Ready as I'll ever be.