Trees. Cows. Slippers. And Those No Longer Living.

I love trees. I don't think anyone knows this about me- that I have some strange fascination and attachment to trees. It sounds strange, I'm sure but really it's not. In America, Summer is my favorite season, but here I find myself in love with fall. It is somehow different here, than it is at home. Sure, leaves change color and fall from trees leaving leaves to crunch under your feet- in both places- but there is more to the Autumn experience than just that. And I guess I just like what the Czech Republic brings to the table at this time of year.

We went to go visit family in the country today, and while we were there we took a short walk. As we walked I found myself taking in the different shades of greens, reds, yellows, and oranges that the trees had to offer. There was this one tree in particular that caught my eye- that had turned to this shade of orange, that simply made me very happy. Yes, that's right, a tree made me happy.

It is strange to me how thought provoking a tree can be- I wish I could explain to you how many thoughts were prompted by the sight of that tree. I wish for just a moment that you could have been in my head- could have experienced what simply seeing a tree brought to thought in my head.
I'm probably strange- having thoughts provoked by a tree- but here is a picture of that tree in case it is able to do the same for you.




We kept walking until we reached this barn, which I walked into only to find some of the most massive cows I have ever seen in my life. And this one, well I swear it kept staring at me, so it went from strange to even stranger. Having thoughts provoked by trees to having weird bonding moments with cows. Perhaps all this time I have for thinking is causing me to lose my mind....




Upon leaving we hopped in the car and headed for another village to go place candles at the grave of my host mom's mother.

As soon as we arrived at the cemetery and emerged from the car my host mom's demeanor instantly changed. We walked to the grave that was beautifully decorated with wreaths and candles and added two candles- both of which my host mom lit. And as she returned to standing upright from lighting the candles she just sort of stood there- as though someone had punched her in the gut and she was still in shock. I wish I could depict her facial expression properly- explain the change that occured in her eyes- but I simply don't know how.

Yet watching the change occur in her right before my eyes, all I wanted to do was cry. In fact, I found myself blinking back to prevent big welts of water from forming in my eyes.

I really don't like cemeteries. I know that is probably assumed, although I know people that actually like going to them- I decided today that I really don't understand those people.
I don't like the sorrowful feeling that washes over me when I visit them- and for some reason I just feel wrong in being there to begin with, like I'm invading some sacred thing that I have no right to invade.

My host mom had given me the choice to stay home this morning. I'm really glad I didn't take that option.

We stopped at the store before we left this morning and my host mom comes out with a case of beer and this plastic bag. Upon getting in the car she turns in the front seat to face me in the back and hands me the bag saying "This is for you"
So I open the bag only to find these purple and pink dog slippers. haha. Let me explain.
Here, as in the Czech Republic, everyone wears like thes house slippers- they don't really just go around bare foot or in socks, they wear their slippers. So, today my host mom bought me a pair. I guess she thought I needed them.


And although they make me laugh and are not anything I would ever buy or wear- I'm wearing them proudly on my feet as I write this- because I feel like it was the final thing in my induction to the family.

Contemplate.Contemplation.Contemplating.

Do you ever find your thoughts on overload? To the point where you're sort of sick of yourself and could use a break?

Yeah me too.
Too bad I am the one person I'm stuck with for life- and on those days I just want to get away...well- I can't.

And I don't even want to get away because I don't like the thoughts that are bouncing around, but my head just needs a break- I think and ponder, and wonder and observe, and mutter by in a foreign language and try and pull meaning from conversations two months ago I would have totally been lost in- but can now often pick up the jist of what is being said. And at the end of every day- well I'm exhausted; mentally drained.

So let's take a look at these odd thought patterns of mine.
So today I was telling a story
and in telling the story I realized how the people listening to the story were probably judging the others involved in the story.
Which led to thoughts of how they were judging people they'd never met- and never would meet- and well, was that the impression I wanted to be giving them of those people?
Because in this case- the characters in my story- have absolutely no control of how they are judged...it all lies in my hands. But then I asked myself, well, since they will never know that they were judged...or how they were judged, does it really matter how I depict them?
And that got me thinking about how that really isn't fair. I know, I know, life isn't fair- which by the way is one of my least favorite things that people throw back at you when you complain about something being unfair, " Well, life's not fair" WELL, NO DUH. clearly we've figured that out by now.
Okay back to the thoughts at hand. How is it fair that I can sit and tell a story about people- which in turn provokes judgments from others that don't know them at all?
First of all- as I'm one person my version of the story is probably different than how anyone else would tell it- perhaps I'm not depicting it correclty, perhaps I'm being biased. But then I asked myself what is "depicting it correctly?"
And that's where thoughts of how we all have our own truth jumped on the band wagon- and caused my thoughts to once again branch off in several directions.
So in the end I finished telling my story- while watching those that had fallen victim to my running mouth- and let the judgment fall where it wanted. Where it fell, I have no idea- I didn't sit and ask them all about their judgments when I was finished- but it's normal for judgment to be made- it's how we, as humans work.

And it wasn't until after the story was all done and over with, and my thoughts had been taken elsewhere- that I realized that it was quite possible that I was judged while telling that story- that while I was wondering about the judgments of others- I too was probably being judged. But- there is a fine difference between the judgment that may have been placed on me- and that on the other characters in my story. They have me here- to watch and observe and talk to everyday- to judge everyday. The characters in my story, and any story I choose to tell while I'm here for that matter- they get judged based on how I want them to. All it requires is me bending my words a little this way, twisting them a little that way- and the judgment would change.

But do people really take the time to do that? I'm sure there are people somewhere in this world that do. I, however, am not one of them. I'm going to tell my story- the way in which I recall it happening. I'm going to share my truth. that's it.

The rest dealing with what the outsiders taking in the story choose to do with it- that's out of my hands.

Are you sick of my all across the board thoughts yet?
Good.
Me too.
and thats the sort of thing that plays out in my head all day long
everyday the thoughts take different routes, go down different roads- but don't worry they keep going...even when I'd like them to stop.
Like okay just for kicks I'll just show you where my thoughts went from there.
Generally it's an outside force- that sends my thoughts in a different direction sort of like the theory in physics "an object in motion will stay in motion until influenced by an outside force," I don't it's something along those lines.

So right after the story thoughts ended we went to lunch.
Now my friend and I had to sit at a table with this one boy from our class who I've only ever heard speak when the teachers call on him.
So we eat- he doesn't speak to either of us- we finish- we leave.
And as we are walking up the stairs my friend makes mention of the boy and how he never talks.
How they have been in the same class for seven years and he just doesn't talk, how they used to try to get conversation out of him, to include him but all they got out of him when trying to start up conversation were yes and no answers. The sure and fast conversation killers. seven years this boy has been around these people. seven years of lost conversation- a lot of talking can be done in seven years. Take me for example- do you know how many conversations I could have in seven years, how many stories I could hear- how many times I could be impacted? So many. And so then I became awfully curious- why has this boy chosen to isolate himself? I'm sure if you were to dig deep enough you could find the reasoning- because I'm sure there is some somewhere.
You see it's never ending. always thought. always about something else- something different- something entirely off the wall.

My Friday night proved to be interesting, as most nights here are. I was officially bought my first drink ever, by an Italian man. Yeah so my friend and I meet up before we are supposed to be meeting our other friends and end up at a pub- and there is this group of Italian men, and it was the one's birthday, and so after talking to him awhile he had drinks sent over to our table- and he came over and we said "nazdravi", the equivelant of cheers here, and yeah, it was just really weird. So last week we met British boys, this week it was Italian men, UMMMM where do CZECHS FIT IN HERE??? I am in the CZECH REPUBLIC right?

For anyone that hasn't heard, my ipod died. Which may not sound like such a big deal, except that when you don't have music you realize how dependant you are on it. My music is really important to me, living without it, is not something I enjoy doing, so it's a good thing that I'll soon have it back.

I've been pondering getting dreads while I'm here, don't worry no glue is involved so I won't have to shave my head to get rid of them. I also have this slight desire to get my tongue pierced, which is entirely out of character for me. But I figure that it's the best place to get a piercing as I can take it out and there will be no scar, no damage done- just a memory of some crazy whim I got while I was in Europe....I don't know, we'll see.

Off to go study Czech, I believe tonight I will work on trying to make some logical sense of these seven crazy cases they use....wish me luck.

And do me a favor
lay off on the thinking
I'm doing enough for you and me both
so just don't think too much today
it's exhausting...I promise.

tak....Cau

Psychology. Funky Dresses. Nucleur Power Plants.Math And other Random Information.

Psychology- I am rather excited to report that I am actually going to start learning in this class. Yesterday my teacher came up to me and told me that he was going to prepare material for me to read in English. I was thrown by the fact that my teacher even spoke English, because until yesterday he had never said a word to me. Well, I was really excited when he told me this as I'm currently thirsting for knowledge,I miss learning- I'm not going to lie. So then upon seeing my excitement he told me that if I wanted he could make me tests too. So natually, being the person that I am, I jumped at the offer. I will soon be gaining knowledge in an area I am very much interested in. So that is good.

Dresses- Well there is only one dress, and it is rather funky- but I pull it off so it's all good. I had an hour break between my classes yesterday-so I went shopping, and just happened upon this dress.




Nucleur Power Plants- I am going on a field trip to one on Friday, which is sort of a hard concept for me to wrap my head around- we don't take field trips to Nucleur Power Plants in America- they're dangerous. Anyways it should be intersting- but I won't be posting pictures because cameras are not allowed.

Math- I don't understand math, so I figured if I can't learn it- then I will document the teacher teaching so today in math this is what I did:






Oh and I forgot to share this very important picture from Prague with you:






I cracked so many joke about that sign- I do believe the people I was with got rather annoyed with me- but they were funny jokes- I promise.


That's it for today.

Sleepless in Prague

That is not just some catchy title, there really was no sleep involved in my trip to Prague, not even a couple hours, or a couple minutes. absolutely no sleep at all. And honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Thurday morning I awoke at 4:30 a.m to get ready, as I needed to be at the train station by 6:30 a.m.

The 2 1/2 hour train ride went by rather quickly as we sat and filled the time with random conversation.

Upon arrival in Prague, we located our hostel, left our bags so we didn't have to carry them around and set out on our adventure.

We eventually located the metro line, which let me tell you is quite possibly the easiest thing to figure out. It has three lines, each of which is a different color. It is so much simpler than the New York subway system, but that's not New Yorks fault I suppose, since at one point there were three different companies operating it, and now it just operates as one. Anyways we were on the escalator going down to the metro and this lady says excuse me( in czech) so we move aside so she can get by.



Then we are waiting for our metro to come and we are speaking English and the lady is standing next to us and she goes, "Oh you speak English, I'm sorry, I spoke Czech to you." and we were like no, it's okay, we understood you. And she went on to ask us where we were from and then come to find out guess where she is from? Just guess.
Portland, Oregon. She has only lived in Prague for a year, and she is from Portland, Oregon and her sister lives in Camas. Now if that doesn't show you how small of a world it is, I don't know what does. There are a million people living in Prague, what were the chances of me running into someone from Portland? I found it awfully strange.

We set off shopping, which didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped. I only managed to pick up a few things, a sweater, a shirt, and a pair of these boots that you would never believe that I wear. But I really like what I bought, so I guess that's good at least.




Those would be my new boots that I am in love with, don't worry they're coming back to America with me, and that colorful thing I'm wearing thats this new dress/shirt I bought.


We then went around Prague, met our friend that lives there on the Charles Bridge and then went off to dinner.

After dinner we walked around taking pictures ( feeling rather touristy which I didn't like at all)


and then we met up with other friends and went to Carlovy Lazne which is this amazing dance club...


the biggest in Centeral Europe as it claims. Okay so this is how it works: The dance club is flour floors. Each floor has a different atmosphere and a different type of music. There is a rap floor, an oldies floor, a techno floor, and so if you don't like what music is playing, you simply walk up or downstairs and find an alternate location. Then if at some point you need a break from dancing, there are also lounges on each floor that carry the same atmosphere as the dance floor on that level. We must have been there for about five hours, climbing up and down stairs to find the music we were in the mood for, it was so much fun.

It was rather funny because when we first got there, there were these two really attractive guys that my friend and I, kept eyeing...but then we stopped when we saw them dancing together....because, well,ummm guys don't just dance like that with eachother, I promise you. Yeah, and we kept seeing them throughout the night, and I'm pretty sure the more alcohol they consumed, the more into eachother they became.
And then at one point, we went up into one of the lounges, and the one guy was all over this girl- and we were like too bad we can't speak the language well enough, to be like, "Sweetheart he's already taken, and although in some cases that would seem like a small minor issue to deal with, he is taken by another man." But we couldn't say that, so we just sat back and watched the scene unfold.


Then for some reason all the guys we kept meeting spoke German, which was okay since Eleanor speaks German and got us through conversation, although it was frusturating not to be able to use my Czech language skills.

We left about 2 a.m. and made our way back to the hostel, and naturally we were going to go to bed- but the choice to go to the bathroom and brush our teeth brought about a new path to tread down.

So I'm in the bathroom ( a single stalled bathroom is all that was in the hostel) and my friend is waiting outside, and when I emerge she is talking to these two British boys, the one is drunk and hysterical and his friend who obviously had taken the roll of babysitter for the evening. So we stand there talking to them, and then more of their friends come out of their rooms and so we are standing in this hallway outside the bathrooms of this hostel in Prague talking to this school group of British boys about all sorts of different things, and before we know it the time is now 5 a.m., and I was awfully hungry as dinner had been hours ago, and breakfast was at 7 a.m so Julie, I and two of the British boys decided just to stay up, that at this point we really couldn't sleep. And so we stayed up and talked and talked and found out about the private school they attend and how it costs $20,000 a year. And now when anyone asks me what time it is, I will reply with "It's pims o'clock ( sp? sorry I'm not British). And since rotary allows you to travel when you have friends that live where you are going- well we now have friends in London, and so we have decided that at some point in our stay here in Czech Republic we are going to make our way to London, and the boys, well they've agreed to be our tour guides. So you meet people in a hostel, and then you travel to where they live and they show you around- I really do love the way life works out.

So we had breakfast, got dressed, checked out, went and enjoyed the morning in Prague, had an espresso, and then went off to catch our 1:15 p.m. train.

I dozed in and out on the train, but got no good restfull sleep, which was much needed. I got to my house at about 4:20 and needed to leave the house at 6:30 to go meet my friends to go to a concert. So I ate, I showered, I got ready, and I was off.

The concert was fun, I spoke a lot in Czech which was good, I think that it is progressing, that I'm starting to actually get somewhat decent- to a point where you can actually tell that I'm learing.

But it was about 11:15 that I just couldn't hack it anyomore, I was suddenly absoultely exhausted, and so I hopped the bus and came home- and went straight to bed. It was one of those nights where you don't remember anything after you laid your head on the fillow....I was out that fast.

And to think that it's only Saturday. Although I think I'm just hanging out at home today, perhaps studying some Czech, and just recovering from lack of sleep.

and so that was my sleepless experience in Prague, and I can see myself fitting in there. As much as I feel like I fit in New York, this place brought about that same sort of feeling, the same desire to be a part of what the place is about. Charles University....New York University.....right now I have absolutely no idea. But for right now, I am okay with that, I still have some time to figure it out.

I highly recommend that when you visit a new place
you should be sleepless your first night there.
see what the place can offer for all 24 hours of a day
experience. live. dance.
Because you can, and because the only thing you have to give up in order to do so, is sleep, which is a very small sacrifice when comparing all will gain.
And even when you are exhausted the next day, you won't regret your choice.
Instead you will constantly find random smiles speading across your face at the thoughts of all that you'd done the previous day.
And still two days later I keep having those random smile moments.
These are the things in my life that I will remember,
my sleepless night in Prague at 17- because that right now, just happens to be my life.

reporting to you live
from my bed
in my room
in my little house
on revolucni street
in an area called Roznov
that just happens to be in Ceske Budejovice, Czech Republic

Realizations. Trains. Hostels. Concerts. Plays.

Today I realized something about Damien Rice.
He is an all purpose artist.
Let me explain.
Damien Rice music fits, I've found, in several different locations.
It can be listened to when sad, when angry, and when you are extremely happy
it can be pouring down rain, the sun can be shining, or you can be in bed with covers pulled tight.
His music will resonate through your ears in New York, you'll catch yourself singing along while in your car in Washington, and you can be standing in the Czech Republic under an umbrella in the pouring rain and the sound of his voice fits too.
It can awaken the soul, but it is also capable of pulling you into deep sleep.
It can bring back old memories- remind you of life in the moment- or cause you to think of what the future may bring.
His music is timeless. the words he utters, the emotion that seeths from him- is not something that will grow old and fade away. He sings of things that have always existed; things that will always exist.
What he as an artist is able to feed us, as his audience fulfills the soul and the different compartments it consists of- he attacks the whole soul instead of only just a part of it, and I believe that is what sets him apart.
And in realizing this, I was satsified with the knowledge that I had seen him live in concert- that I had experienced the soul consuming experience that Damien Rice has to offer.

So i decided that when I write my book- it will encompass the souls of the readers, consume their souls, and like Damien Rice, not just a part of it, but the soul in its entirety. Because it is through encompassing the soul that you are able to make a true impact. And so that is what I will do, and you better brace yourself for one hell of a book.

Today was a productive day, I sat plans in motion, plans that I am awfully excited about.
We have a four day weekend this week, because I don't know, we just have a holiday.
So Thursday morning at 6:54 a.m. I will be on a train to Prague along with two other girls, I will spend the day shopping for the "Keep Tahani Warm Foundation" and then I will head back to our hostel, change into a "going out" outfit, and head out for a night in Prague. My one friend is going with her family and they are staying with family friends- and the daughter knows all the good places to go, so we are meeting up with them. That way we don't end up at all the touristy places. We will then spend the majority of Friday seeing the sights of Prague and then will head home.

Friday night I am going to a concert with friends, and the boy I sit next to in class in the band, I guess. So we'll meet up and off to Marty's Club we will go.

and then there is still Saturday and Sunday and I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, most of my friends are gone for the holiday.

But then the 22nd I'm going to a Czech play with my friends which I'm rather excited about. It is a Czech comedy about a man that wants to get with all 7 of these sisters, and at the end they all end up pregnant- yeah, it should be interesting- especially since I don't speak the language, but I'm actually really looking forward to it.

Have a good rest of the week
and an amazing weekend
surround yourself with people you enjoy
people you love,
people you don't get to spend enough time with,
you'll be glad you did.

tak...Ahoj

A writer and her story...

So I'm going to share a story with you, one that I suppose could be considered a personal story- and it might just make your heart skip a beat, although I suppose it depends on who you are, and what your heart skips beats for.

I thought a lot about whether this was even an appropriate thing to share with you. What is too much for a writer to share with her audience? Where is the line between what is acceptable and what is not, drawn?

And then I realized that I get to draw that line. I get to decide. And so as a writer I am simply sharing a story, and whether or not you choose to read it- that is where you get to make a choice.


Friday night turned out to be filled with unexpcted occurences that flowed through time one after the other, catching me off guard- and leaving me in awe.

I went to a birthday celebration with one of my friends.
We all met up at the hotel room where most of the invited guests were spending the night although not my friend and I, her parents came and picked us up at 2 a.m.

So we arrive and I am speaking only in Czech, and so I'm not really saying much as my Czech remains rather limited. And at one point one of the boys asks in Czech, " So where is this American that is supposed to be coming?" and I laughed as I had understood and I said, "Jsem tady" ( I'm here). Which threw him and caused us to get quite a laugh.

So then we made our way to the pub, and upon leaving we walk outside and it is snowing, and snowing rather hard. Never have I known snow in October. So this boy, mentioned earlier, he wants me to walk with him. But I tell him, I'm sorry but I can't I have to stay with my friend because she has an umbrella( yes, I was willing to give up walking in the snow with a Czech boy to stay under the protection of an umbrella- I'm very girly OKAY gosh)

And so this is how he solved that problem...

One of the other boys in our group had an umbrella, so he walked right over to him took it from him, walked back over to me, took my hand and off we went.
And then after awhile it became apparent that a kiss was coming, although it was one of those times when you arn't quite sure when exactly it's going to happen.

So I turn around to see if the rest of the group was following, and upon turning back around, he was looking down at me--we made intense eye contact--and then he leaned in...

And so there I stood under an umbrella with snow falling all around in a village in the Czech Republic on a cobblestone street wearing black pumps and holding hands while making out with a Czech boy.

And then we continue on our way talking, I, in broken Czech, him in very broken English and mostly I was laughing because I either wasn't understanding what he was saying, or he didn't understand my Czech- although we got a lot further in conversation than one would think- it was no easy feat, but it was manageable.

We finally arrive at the disco and I go off to dance ( weird right? Because since when do I dance??? I guess since now) and he goes to sit down. So my friend goes over to him and tells him to come dance, but he claims he "doesn't dance" and so she comes back and says simply, "Tahani, go for him"
and I was like ummm....When in Czech....right?
So I allow my feet to carry me over to where he is sitting and I ask him to come dance(in Czech) and he still says no.
So I was like okay Tahani, what are you going to do?
and then I had an epiphany and realized that I was a girl and that I could quite possibly use that to my advantage.
And so as plain as day I pulled his head towards mine, and started intensely making out with him, mind you, not for long, just long enough so that when I finally pulled away he followed me to the dance floor.
And so we danced.
and at the end of the night we exchanged numbers- so we'll see if life will make anything of that- if not, well, it was quite the evening.

Although I have to tell you I am still wondering where this girl from Friday night came from and why she decided to make an appearance now- but I'm awfully glad she did. And I believe I will get more aquainted with her as time goes on- I don't believe she is going anywhere; I think she is here to stay.

So I went to bed at 4 and awoke at 8, as my friend lives in another village and her parents were coming into my town so I caught a ride with them. I'm sure glad I did otherwise I would have had to be at the bus station very early to catch the 7:30 bus.

So i was thoroughly exhausted yesterday and I got home and visited my host parents and tried to stay awake, but naturally my exhaustion took over and I went and fell asleep.

I then awoke craving chocolate, and my host mom doesn't keep it in the house as she claims "it's thirty seconds in the mouth and ten years in the ass" which just makes me laugh, so I went downstairs and told her in czech that I was craving chocolate and would it be okay if I went and bought some. Naturally she said yes and so I headed for the bus stop and rode to the grocery store.

I bought myself chocolate and my host mom whole nut chocolate as I know she likes it, and as you know I'm all about small gestures, and I also bought a box of Orange Jaipur tea, because we had run out and it's my favorite. Little did I know how big of a deal it was that I bought the tea...just wait I'll get to that.

So I get home and give my host mom her chocolate which she is surprised by and she thanks me, but claims that it's very dangerous for her to have.

and then I unwrapped the box of Orange Jaipur tea bags and placed it in the cupboard with the rest of tea- and it was one of those moments where I was like "WOW" this really has become my home- I feel settled- a part of the family- familiar.

And although I have felt like this for quite sometime- it was buying that box of tea bags and placing it in the cupboard that reaffirmed that, for me.

And as I sit here this morning drinking my Orange Jaipur tea- from the tea bag that I pulled from the cupboard- from the box that I bought and placed there last night- I am at home.

And In this place I have become aquainted with myself in a way I never have before,
and although I believe I have been confident for quite sometime- I'm confident here but in a way I've never known.
I'm confident and edgey and content.

So my name is Tahani and I do belive I am on the right path to figuring out who I am,
and you just happen to get the opportunity to to watch as I do so. Although it doesn't matter if this writer has an audience or not, she will share her story. Why?
Because she can.

So thank you to each and every person that has walked into my life, that I have ever exchanged words with, if only for five minutes- because I walked away after that five minutes with something I hadn't had five minutes earlier.
Thank you- for giving me conversations I wouldn't have had otherwise, creating lasting memories with me, teaching me lessons, staying awake for 40 something hours straight, Thank you.
Because that person that writes is a product of what you have given, I have been shaped and molded from my experiences with all of you.

And to MY BEST FRIEND- you know who you are. We have been together forever- always has been the two of us- always will be. Thank you for believing in me, all those times when I didn't believe in myself- because I finally do- and you helped get me to this place. "You find out who your friends are, somebodies gonna drop everything, run out and crank up their car, hit the gas, get there fast, never stop to think whats in it for me or it's too far." You are that friend for me, and I for you. always. and because of you I have "No Reins". My love is unconditional and I hope you know how much I appreciate you, because even as a writer I can't seem to find the proper words. And I hope you realize how EXTRAORDINARY you are, and how you have an impact on people- how you have an impact on me. I am who I am, because of you.
So thank you for holding my hand for all those years, and thank you for being able to let go for a short while. JYAMM- always, always, always.

Tahani
as Alanis sings, I'm green but I'm wise
and as Jason Mraz likes to remind me,
my name is my virtue.
and just remember:
We're All in this Together

A revelation, an epiphany; if you will

I do believe I had an epiphany today, although I didn't realize that I was having it, until I was writing it down in words (we all know I work better in writing)- but I do believe it was only sooner or later until I had this one...but we'll get to that in a few.

First I went to spinning tonight with my host mom,
so you climb a mountain one day, and go to spinning the next,
and the day after that you go running along the Vltava River- which is what I plan on doing tomorrow afternoon.
This doesn't sound much like me huh? SO very very active... you are probably asking yourself, "Who is this girl?"

And well, I'm still me, but here is the thing. At home I was consumed with school, and it left me a big massive stressed out basket case. But here, school is less than consuming and I have time to put energy towards the things I never let myself have time for- and I'm enjoying them all very much.

It's great the things you start to enjoy when you have enough time. This for me, I believe, is a new way of life. When I get home I will keep it up- get mine and my moms ass out of bed and off to the 5 a.m. spinning class. I don't care if I have to set 10 alarms- various places around the house, because by the time I turn them all off I'll be awake, and might as well go to the gym, right? What else am I going to do at 4:30 a.m?

Not only will I do this to stay physically fit, but also mentally, It will be a good release for me. I am not going to allow myself to become all depressed when I get home and eat my way back to fatness, ummm Yeah....No. I don't think so.

This whole year is about discovering a new place, a new culture, new people. It is about leaning a new language, figuring out who I am, improving myself mentally and physically; from the inside out. It is a year in a sense to relax, breathe, and get a chance to take in this world that is around me. A year for me to observe and take note of the smallest of things, giving like I do- and realizing where this life is going to take me.

And here is my Epiphany...

I think it should be a requirement for every high school student to spend a year abroad in order to graduate. I think everyone should have the opportuninty to gain a new perspective and grow through experience. I think the youth of our country would come back more cultured; worldly even. Our society would consist of people that could see outside of the box, that were aware of the existence of the world.

So our school system requires that you take P.E. in order to graduate, yet they have no concern about students who have never been out of the country, let alone their own state. Those people do exist. And they go out into our society with their tunnel vision perspectives firmly in place- Oh, but don't worry- they took P.E.
And where will that get them in life? Where?

And these are the times when people who have lived a good portion of life- put absurd standards in place. Perhaps, the people setting these standards are the one's that never left the country, but took P.E.
I suppose this could be accurate, although I truly hope it's not.

So go out and discover the world,
there will never be a "right" time to do so
it's one of those things you do without looking before you leap,
one of those crazy spur of the moment things- that changes you forever
and leaves you with something you wouldn't have gained otherwise.
Select a random location on a map---and make it a goal to go there one day and discover just what that place is all about...
you won't be sorry you did.
And if you are- then the problem lies with you- not with the place.
Live---my friends, that's what this life thing is all about.