Language Camp...

So I write to you from language camp, which I am really glad I came to by the way.

It is very nice to meet people that are relatively in the same shoes as you, dealing with the same issues, the same struggles, the same fears, hopes, wishes---it is a very good foundation for new relationships, of which many have been created in the last few days, and we have two weeks here, so I imagine we will be rather bonded by the end of all of this.

It is weird through how talking to other people you seem to realize a lot about yourself, that perhaps you had previously overlooked, or hadn't thought about--and that is what part of this is all about, being able to observe yourself through the eyes of others, how you come off, how you are perceived. In being here, for just a couple days, I have already been pointed out as an old soul, "beyond my years" they like to say----and that is what I've always gotten, and I really don't mind. Perhaps, before I minded slightly, it set me apart it a way that was not the best when trying to interact with peers my own age, but it is now that I step back and really enjoy that aspect of myself. I enjoy being able to talk and sound beyond my years, to be able to add insight to a situation, another persepective, a different opinion. It is me allowing my thought and beliefs to be known, to discuss and share them with others--and what I am able to get out of conversations by being this way, is rather significant when reflecting on the person I am becoming.

I have a beautiful smile, in case some of you didn't know. Well, now you know. I do. I have a beautiful smile- and it is entirely okay that I say this, because this is not me being full of myself, this is me being confident with who I am, with the things people tell me, this is me believing the things people tell me, this is me learning how to take a compliment, because for so long- it was instant reaction to shut them down, but now I take them in, and enjoy them--because really if you know how to accept them properly, they just may be one of the best things you will ever get from a person. Because small things like that, work on you from the inside---the place I think we all need to work on most.

Anyways, just a lot of reflecting. Went to Bar 69, the other night, it had a really cool atmosphere, and I had my first Sex on the Beach, which was rather tasty if you ask me, and it was rather funny because all the guys kept wanting sips, because they do find these fruity drinks to taste good, but they could never order them because they are CHICK drinks, and they are guys, and well I guess that's just not cool. I also had some Pilsner beer, and a shot of Zelena, which was rather good. It was a good time, and then we all headed back to the Pension that we are staying at, and stayed up visting until 3a.m. We all have something different to bring to the table, something different to add, and it makes our group mesh very well.

Being here I've also noticed that when talking about things back home, things that happened, memories, stories, and sharing them with people that they seem so very distant and far away, despite the fact that in truth they arn't at all. It is also amazing how removing yourself in the way that I have allows you to finally have the " outside looking in" persepective, and allows you to see so many things you had previously been blind to. I find here that you have many epiphany's, even one's that deal with the word epiphany (only one of you will get this) and how perhaps one word was able to link people in the deeper more meaningful way that wasn't all that deep and meaningful after all.

It is funny the gaps we let ourselves fall into, the routines, what we eventually let become normalicy.

I'm also a good person, if you didn't know. And, yes, this is me being able to take another compliment. I have flaws, and snort when I laugh, and give way too much, and have weird and strange ticks, and I over analyze almost everything, and I stress out way too bad, and I don't always take critcism so well, and I distance myself when I'm hurt, and I do things I probably shouldn't, and say things that should never be said, but when it comes down to it, I am a good person. And it's in other people noticing things, in other people making comments towards the character you have, your personality, who you are as a person- and in being able to take these comments in- reflect on them, and add them to your own thoughts, that you are able to understand yourself just a little bit more when looking at yourself as a whole.

I've had this theory lately that we never truly know ourselves. We know the basics of ourselves, the surface, and we delve a bit deeper, but we can never know ourselves entirely. We are too complex, constantly searching for something, something within in, something out in the world, and in certain aspects we are always changing, there are parts of us that stay the same, yes, but then there are the parts that will forever be changing- and those are the things that make it impossible.

Wow, i have a lot going on in this head of mine.
Czech, just so all of you know is a BITCH
as in it is super super hard
but I plan on tackling this Bitch,
with brass knuckles and all,
SHE IS GOING DOWN.

Hope all is going well for you
because life for me right now......
well there arn't really words
Like last night I walked home in the pouring rain, through the streets of this little cobblestoned town in Southern Bohemia, CZ, in a town I can't spell, or say for that matter, getting soaked and having amazing conversation.
And I didnt even mind getting wet---the conversation was worth it, because if i would have ran home with the other girls- I wouldn't have had that conversation---I would have missed out on it---and well I guess I wouldn't have known any different, but since I do, it would have been horrible had I missed out on it.
So live life
Get soaked in the rain,
because after all it's just water,
and sooner or later you will dry
and all will be fine.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.
Now get to it.........