Psychology. Funky Dresses. Nucleur Power Plants.Math And other Random Information.

Psychology- I am rather excited to report that I am actually going to start learning in this class. Yesterday my teacher came up to me and told me that he was going to prepare material for me to read in English. I was thrown by the fact that my teacher even spoke English, because until yesterday he had never said a word to me. Well, I was really excited when he told me this as I'm currently thirsting for knowledge,I miss learning- I'm not going to lie. So then upon seeing my excitement he told me that if I wanted he could make me tests too. So natually, being the person that I am, I jumped at the offer. I will soon be gaining knowledge in an area I am very much interested in. So that is good.

Dresses- Well there is only one dress, and it is rather funky- but I pull it off so it's all good. I had an hour break between my classes yesterday-so I went shopping, and just happened upon this dress.




Nucleur Power Plants- I am going on a field trip to one on Friday, which is sort of a hard concept for me to wrap my head around- we don't take field trips to Nucleur Power Plants in America- they're dangerous. Anyways it should be intersting- but I won't be posting pictures because cameras are not allowed.

Math- I don't understand math, so I figured if I can't learn it- then I will document the teacher teaching so today in math this is what I did:






Oh and I forgot to share this very important picture from Prague with you:






I cracked so many joke about that sign- I do believe the people I was with got rather annoyed with me- but they were funny jokes- I promise.


That's it for today.

Sleepless in Prague

That is not just some catchy title, there really was no sleep involved in my trip to Prague, not even a couple hours, or a couple minutes. absolutely no sleep at all. And honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Thurday morning I awoke at 4:30 a.m to get ready, as I needed to be at the train station by 6:30 a.m.

The 2 1/2 hour train ride went by rather quickly as we sat and filled the time with random conversation.

Upon arrival in Prague, we located our hostel, left our bags so we didn't have to carry them around and set out on our adventure.

We eventually located the metro line, which let me tell you is quite possibly the easiest thing to figure out. It has three lines, each of which is a different color. It is so much simpler than the New York subway system, but that's not New Yorks fault I suppose, since at one point there were three different companies operating it, and now it just operates as one. Anyways we were on the escalator going down to the metro and this lady says excuse me( in czech) so we move aside so she can get by.



Then we are waiting for our metro to come and we are speaking English and the lady is standing next to us and she goes, "Oh you speak English, I'm sorry, I spoke Czech to you." and we were like no, it's okay, we understood you. And she went on to ask us where we were from and then come to find out guess where she is from? Just guess.
Portland, Oregon. She has only lived in Prague for a year, and she is from Portland, Oregon and her sister lives in Camas. Now if that doesn't show you how small of a world it is, I don't know what does. There are a million people living in Prague, what were the chances of me running into someone from Portland? I found it awfully strange.

We set off shopping, which didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped. I only managed to pick up a few things, a sweater, a shirt, and a pair of these boots that you would never believe that I wear. But I really like what I bought, so I guess that's good at least.




Those would be my new boots that I am in love with, don't worry they're coming back to America with me, and that colorful thing I'm wearing thats this new dress/shirt I bought.


We then went around Prague, met our friend that lives there on the Charles Bridge and then went off to dinner.

After dinner we walked around taking pictures ( feeling rather touristy which I didn't like at all)


and then we met up with other friends and went to Carlovy Lazne which is this amazing dance club...


the biggest in Centeral Europe as it claims. Okay so this is how it works: The dance club is flour floors. Each floor has a different atmosphere and a different type of music. There is a rap floor, an oldies floor, a techno floor, and so if you don't like what music is playing, you simply walk up or downstairs and find an alternate location. Then if at some point you need a break from dancing, there are also lounges on each floor that carry the same atmosphere as the dance floor on that level. We must have been there for about five hours, climbing up and down stairs to find the music we were in the mood for, it was so much fun.

It was rather funny because when we first got there, there were these two really attractive guys that my friend and I, kept eyeing...but then we stopped when we saw them dancing together....because, well,ummm guys don't just dance like that with eachother, I promise you. Yeah, and we kept seeing them throughout the night, and I'm pretty sure the more alcohol they consumed, the more into eachother they became.
And then at one point, we went up into one of the lounges, and the one guy was all over this girl- and we were like too bad we can't speak the language well enough, to be like, "Sweetheart he's already taken, and although in some cases that would seem like a small minor issue to deal with, he is taken by another man." But we couldn't say that, so we just sat back and watched the scene unfold.


Then for some reason all the guys we kept meeting spoke German, which was okay since Eleanor speaks German and got us through conversation, although it was frusturating not to be able to use my Czech language skills.

We left about 2 a.m. and made our way back to the hostel, and naturally we were going to go to bed- but the choice to go to the bathroom and brush our teeth brought about a new path to tread down.

So I'm in the bathroom ( a single stalled bathroom is all that was in the hostel) and my friend is waiting outside, and when I emerge she is talking to these two British boys, the one is drunk and hysterical and his friend who obviously had taken the roll of babysitter for the evening. So we stand there talking to them, and then more of their friends come out of their rooms and so we are standing in this hallway outside the bathrooms of this hostel in Prague talking to this school group of British boys about all sorts of different things, and before we know it the time is now 5 a.m., and I was awfully hungry as dinner had been hours ago, and breakfast was at 7 a.m so Julie, I and two of the British boys decided just to stay up, that at this point we really couldn't sleep. And so we stayed up and talked and talked and found out about the private school they attend and how it costs $20,000 a year. And now when anyone asks me what time it is, I will reply with "It's pims o'clock ( sp? sorry I'm not British). And since rotary allows you to travel when you have friends that live where you are going- well we now have friends in London, and so we have decided that at some point in our stay here in Czech Republic we are going to make our way to London, and the boys, well they've agreed to be our tour guides. So you meet people in a hostel, and then you travel to where they live and they show you around- I really do love the way life works out.

So we had breakfast, got dressed, checked out, went and enjoyed the morning in Prague, had an espresso, and then went off to catch our 1:15 p.m. train.

I dozed in and out on the train, but got no good restfull sleep, which was much needed. I got to my house at about 4:20 and needed to leave the house at 6:30 to go meet my friends to go to a concert. So I ate, I showered, I got ready, and I was off.

The concert was fun, I spoke a lot in Czech which was good, I think that it is progressing, that I'm starting to actually get somewhat decent- to a point where you can actually tell that I'm learing.

But it was about 11:15 that I just couldn't hack it anyomore, I was suddenly absoultely exhausted, and so I hopped the bus and came home- and went straight to bed. It was one of those nights where you don't remember anything after you laid your head on the fillow....I was out that fast.

And to think that it's only Saturday. Although I think I'm just hanging out at home today, perhaps studying some Czech, and just recovering from lack of sleep.

and so that was my sleepless experience in Prague, and I can see myself fitting in there. As much as I feel like I fit in New York, this place brought about that same sort of feeling, the same desire to be a part of what the place is about. Charles University....New York University.....right now I have absolutely no idea. But for right now, I am okay with that, I still have some time to figure it out.

I highly recommend that when you visit a new place
you should be sleepless your first night there.
see what the place can offer for all 24 hours of a day
experience. live. dance.
Because you can, and because the only thing you have to give up in order to do so, is sleep, which is a very small sacrifice when comparing all will gain.
And even when you are exhausted the next day, you won't regret your choice.
Instead you will constantly find random smiles speading across your face at the thoughts of all that you'd done the previous day.
And still two days later I keep having those random smile moments.
These are the things in my life that I will remember,
my sleepless night in Prague at 17- because that right now, just happens to be my life.

reporting to you live
from my bed
in my room
in my little house
on revolucni street
in an area called Roznov
that just happens to be in Ceske Budejovice, Czech Republic

Realizations. Trains. Hostels. Concerts. Plays.

Today I realized something about Damien Rice.
He is an all purpose artist.
Let me explain.
Damien Rice music fits, I've found, in several different locations.
It can be listened to when sad, when angry, and when you are extremely happy
it can be pouring down rain, the sun can be shining, or you can be in bed with covers pulled tight.
His music will resonate through your ears in New York, you'll catch yourself singing along while in your car in Washington, and you can be standing in the Czech Republic under an umbrella in the pouring rain and the sound of his voice fits too.
It can awaken the soul, but it is also capable of pulling you into deep sleep.
It can bring back old memories- remind you of life in the moment- or cause you to think of what the future may bring.
His music is timeless. the words he utters, the emotion that seeths from him- is not something that will grow old and fade away. He sings of things that have always existed; things that will always exist.
What he as an artist is able to feed us, as his audience fulfills the soul and the different compartments it consists of- he attacks the whole soul instead of only just a part of it, and I believe that is what sets him apart.
And in realizing this, I was satsified with the knowledge that I had seen him live in concert- that I had experienced the soul consuming experience that Damien Rice has to offer.

So i decided that when I write my book- it will encompass the souls of the readers, consume their souls, and like Damien Rice, not just a part of it, but the soul in its entirety. Because it is through encompassing the soul that you are able to make a true impact. And so that is what I will do, and you better brace yourself for one hell of a book.

Today was a productive day, I sat plans in motion, plans that I am awfully excited about.
We have a four day weekend this week, because I don't know, we just have a holiday.
So Thursday morning at 6:54 a.m. I will be on a train to Prague along with two other girls, I will spend the day shopping for the "Keep Tahani Warm Foundation" and then I will head back to our hostel, change into a "going out" outfit, and head out for a night in Prague. My one friend is going with her family and they are staying with family friends- and the daughter knows all the good places to go, so we are meeting up with them. That way we don't end up at all the touristy places. We will then spend the majority of Friday seeing the sights of Prague and then will head home.

Friday night I am going to a concert with friends, and the boy I sit next to in class in the band, I guess. So we'll meet up and off to Marty's Club we will go.

and then there is still Saturday and Sunday and I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, most of my friends are gone for the holiday.

But then the 22nd I'm going to a Czech play with my friends which I'm rather excited about. It is a Czech comedy about a man that wants to get with all 7 of these sisters, and at the end they all end up pregnant- yeah, it should be interesting- especially since I don't speak the language, but I'm actually really looking forward to it.

Have a good rest of the week
and an amazing weekend
surround yourself with people you enjoy
people you love,
people you don't get to spend enough time with,
you'll be glad you did.

tak...Ahoj

A writer and her story...

So I'm going to share a story with you, one that I suppose could be considered a personal story- and it might just make your heart skip a beat, although I suppose it depends on who you are, and what your heart skips beats for.

I thought a lot about whether this was even an appropriate thing to share with you. What is too much for a writer to share with her audience? Where is the line between what is acceptable and what is not, drawn?

And then I realized that I get to draw that line. I get to decide. And so as a writer I am simply sharing a story, and whether or not you choose to read it- that is where you get to make a choice.


Friday night turned out to be filled with unexpcted occurences that flowed through time one after the other, catching me off guard- and leaving me in awe.

I went to a birthday celebration with one of my friends.
We all met up at the hotel room where most of the invited guests were spending the night although not my friend and I, her parents came and picked us up at 2 a.m.

So we arrive and I am speaking only in Czech, and so I'm not really saying much as my Czech remains rather limited. And at one point one of the boys asks in Czech, " So where is this American that is supposed to be coming?" and I laughed as I had understood and I said, "Jsem tady" ( I'm here). Which threw him and caused us to get quite a laugh.

So then we made our way to the pub, and upon leaving we walk outside and it is snowing, and snowing rather hard. Never have I known snow in October. So this boy, mentioned earlier, he wants me to walk with him. But I tell him, I'm sorry but I can't I have to stay with my friend because she has an umbrella( yes, I was willing to give up walking in the snow with a Czech boy to stay under the protection of an umbrella- I'm very girly OKAY gosh)

And so this is how he solved that problem...

One of the other boys in our group had an umbrella, so he walked right over to him took it from him, walked back over to me, took my hand and off we went.
And then after awhile it became apparent that a kiss was coming, although it was one of those times when you arn't quite sure when exactly it's going to happen.

So I turn around to see if the rest of the group was following, and upon turning back around, he was looking down at me--we made intense eye contact--and then he leaned in...

And so there I stood under an umbrella with snow falling all around in a village in the Czech Republic on a cobblestone street wearing black pumps and holding hands while making out with a Czech boy.

And then we continue on our way talking, I, in broken Czech, him in very broken English and mostly I was laughing because I either wasn't understanding what he was saying, or he didn't understand my Czech- although we got a lot further in conversation than one would think- it was no easy feat, but it was manageable.

We finally arrive at the disco and I go off to dance ( weird right? Because since when do I dance??? I guess since now) and he goes to sit down. So my friend goes over to him and tells him to come dance, but he claims he "doesn't dance" and so she comes back and says simply, "Tahani, go for him"
and I was like ummm....When in Czech....right?
So I allow my feet to carry me over to where he is sitting and I ask him to come dance(in Czech) and he still says no.
So I was like okay Tahani, what are you going to do?
and then I had an epiphany and realized that I was a girl and that I could quite possibly use that to my advantage.
And so as plain as day I pulled his head towards mine, and started intensely making out with him, mind you, not for long, just long enough so that when I finally pulled away he followed me to the dance floor.
And so we danced.
and at the end of the night we exchanged numbers- so we'll see if life will make anything of that- if not, well, it was quite the evening.

Although I have to tell you I am still wondering where this girl from Friday night came from and why she decided to make an appearance now- but I'm awfully glad she did. And I believe I will get more aquainted with her as time goes on- I don't believe she is going anywhere; I think she is here to stay.

So I went to bed at 4 and awoke at 8, as my friend lives in another village and her parents were coming into my town so I caught a ride with them. I'm sure glad I did otherwise I would have had to be at the bus station very early to catch the 7:30 bus.

So i was thoroughly exhausted yesterday and I got home and visited my host parents and tried to stay awake, but naturally my exhaustion took over and I went and fell asleep.

I then awoke craving chocolate, and my host mom doesn't keep it in the house as she claims "it's thirty seconds in the mouth and ten years in the ass" which just makes me laugh, so I went downstairs and told her in czech that I was craving chocolate and would it be okay if I went and bought some. Naturally she said yes and so I headed for the bus stop and rode to the grocery store.

I bought myself chocolate and my host mom whole nut chocolate as I know she likes it, and as you know I'm all about small gestures, and I also bought a box of Orange Jaipur tea, because we had run out and it's my favorite. Little did I know how big of a deal it was that I bought the tea...just wait I'll get to that.

So I get home and give my host mom her chocolate which she is surprised by and she thanks me, but claims that it's very dangerous for her to have.

and then I unwrapped the box of Orange Jaipur tea bags and placed it in the cupboard with the rest of tea- and it was one of those moments where I was like "WOW" this really has become my home- I feel settled- a part of the family- familiar.

And although I have felt like this for quite sometime- it was buying that box of tea bags and placing it in the cupboard that reaffirmed that, for me.

And as I sit here this morning drinking my Orange Jaipur tea- from the tea bag that I pulled from the cupboard- from the box that I bought and placed there last night- I am at home.

And In this place I have become aquainted with myself in a way I never have before,
and although I believe I have been confident for quite sometime- I'm confident here but in a way I've never known.
I'm confident and edgey and content.

So my name is Tahani and I do belive I am on the right path to figuring out who I am,
and you just happen to get the opportunity to to watch as I do so. Although it doesn't matter if this writer has an audience or not, she will share her story. Why?
Because she can.

So thank you to each and every person that has walked into my life, that I have ever exchanged words with, if only for five minutes- because I walked away after that five minutes with something I hadn't had five minutes earlier.
Thank you- for giving me conversations I wouldn't have had otherwise, creating lasting memories with me, teaching me lessons, staying awake for 40 something hours straight, Thank you.
Because that person that writes is a product of what you have given, I have been shaped and molded from my experiences with all of you.

And to MY BEST FRIEND- you know who you are. We have been together forever- always has been the two of us- always will be. Thank you for believing in me, all those times when I didn't believe in myself- because I finally do- and you helped get me to this place. "You find out who your friends are, somebodies gonna drop everything, run out and crank up their car, hit the gas, get there fast, never stop to think whats in it for me or it's too far." You are that friend for me, and I for you. always. and because of you I have "No Reins". My love is unconditional and I hope you know how much I appreciate you, because even as a writer I can't seem to find the proper words. And I hope you realize how EXTRAORDINARY you are, and how you have an impact on people- how you have an impact on me. I am who I am, because of you.
So thank you for holding my hand for all those years, and thank you for being able to let go for a short while. JYAMM- always, always, always.

Tahani
as Alanis sings, I'm green but I'm wise
and as Jason Mraz likes to remind me,
my name is my virtue.
and just remember:
We're All in this Together

A revelation, an epiphany; if you will

I do believe I had an epiphany today, although I didn't realize that I was having it, until I was writing it down in words (we all know I work better in writing)- but I do believe it was only sooner or later until I had this one...but we'll get to that in a few.

First I went to spinning tonight with my host mom,
so you climb a mountain one day, and go to spinning the next,
and the day after that you go running along the Vltava River- which is what I plan on doing tomorrow afternoon.
This doesn't sound much like me huh? SO very very active... you are probably asking yourself, "Who is this girl?"

And well, I'm still me, but here is the thing. At home I was consumed with school, and it left me a big massive stressed out basket case. But here, school is less than consuming and I have time to put energy towards the things I never let myself have time for- and I'm enjoying them all very much.

It's great the things you start to enjoy when you have enough time. This for me, I believe, is a new way of life. When I get home I will keep it up- get mine and my moms ass out of bed and off to the 5 a.m. spinning class. I don't care if I have to set 10 alarms- various places around the house, because by the time I turn them all off I'll be awake, and might as well go to the gym, right? What else am I going to do at 4:30 a.m?

Not only will I do this to stay physically fit, but also mentally, It will be a good release for me. I am not going to allow myself to become all depressed when I get home and eat my way back to fatness, ummm Yeah....No. I don't think so.

This whole year is about discovering a new place, a new culture, new people. It is about leaning a new language, figuring out who I am, improving myself mentally and physically; from the inside out. It is a year in a sense to relax, breathe, and get a chance to take in this world that is around me. A year for me to observe and take note of the smallest of things, giving like I do- and realizing where this life is going to take me.

And here is my Epiphany...

I think it should be a requirement for every high school student to spend a year abroad in order to graduate. I think everyone should have the opportuninty to gain a new perspective and grow through experience. I think the youth of our country would come back more cultured; worldly even. Our society would consist of people that could see outside of the box, that were aware of the existence of the world.

So our school system requires that you take P.E. in order to graduate, yet they have no concern about students who have never been out of the country, let alone their own state. Those people do exist. And they go out into our society with their tunnel vision perspectives firmly in place- Oh, but don't worry- they took P.E.
And where will that get them in life? Where?

And these are the times when people who have lived a good portion of life- put absurd standards in place. Perhaps, the people setting these standards are the one's that never left the country, but took P.E.
I suppose this could be accurate, although I truly hope it's not.

So go out and discover the world,
there will never be a "right" time to do so
it's one of those things you do without looking before you leap,
one of those crazy spur of the moment things- that changes you forever
and leaves you with something you wouldn't have gained otherwise.
Select a random location on a map---and make it a goal to go there one day and discover just what that place is all about...
you won't be sorry you did.
And if you are- then the problem lies with you- not with the place.
Live---my friends, that's what this life thing is all about.

senzacni( copacetic in Czech, HOW COOL IS THAT????)

Dnes (Today) ja(I) climbed a mountain, a(and) NE(no) Nejsem (I am not) mluveni(speaking) metaphorically.
ja (I) literally climbed a mountain. It was velky(big) a(and) steep, just ask moje (my) noha(legs)- they'll tell tobe(you), oni(they) felt to(it), OH Ano(yes) they did.

It was an amazing hike- ale(but) as I sit tady(here) right ted(now), I've realized that whether or not my body will be able to emerge from postel(bed) in the rano(morning) is debatable- i might have to roll out of bed onto the floor, and slowly stand nahore(up) from tam(there). I guess ja budu ( I will) find out zitra rano ( tomorrow morning).

Okay enough with the Czech, I'm sure that's annoying to read (cist) haha.

I have to say though i'm awfully proud of my Czech, I text my friends in czech, send them e-mails in czech, I read books in Czech although I don't understand them it helps me with pronounciation which isn't the easiest thing- but according to my host mom my pronounciation is very good- I sound like a czech speaker she tells me, and claims she thinks I have an ear for languages. Now I don't know if she is just trying to give me hope, or if she is serious. But if it's only to give me hope, it works just great.

I went shopping yesterday at the mall, and all I came home with was an avocado, but I couldn't have been happier. There is a grocery store at the mall, incase you were confused. Well you see, I was craving an avocado, and I still had about half of my weekly allowance I've put myself on left- so I bought an avocado. Now this was the biggest avocado I've ever eaten, and also the most expensive.....$1.50 for an AVOCADO!!!! But as long as I only buy one every once in awhile it will be okay, it's not like I buy them everyday, but I think it would be okay if, say, I wanted one once a month, I think I can budget my $1.50 avocado into my allowance just fine.

Last night I laid in bed an requested information from about 12 colleges in the United States...and all that information will be in my room waiting for me when I get home- and I can sift through it and figure out where in the heck I'm going to end up furthering my education.

I will be getting information from:
New York University
Columbia
Fordham
Brown
Dartmouth
University of Washington
Reed
Boston University
Cornell
Yale
Harvard
Georgetown
that's all.

Then I'm also looking into schools in Canada:
University of British Columbia
and possibly Mcgill

and then there is Charles University in Prague- which for some reason I keep reverting back to, but we'll see. It's just an option- like the rest.

You know I always thought of senior year as a stressful year, you're finishing one thing( high school) while at the same time you are preparing for another(college)- but for some reason I do believe I will have it under control. It will only be stressful if I allow it to be- so maybe I'll just put my foot down now, and save myself stress later.

You know, it's kind of funny because I said climbing the mountain wasn't metaphoric, but in a sense it kind of was. I started at the bottom, and kept going and going and going- even when it got really hard- I kept going, until I reached the top. And at the top this feeling of accomplishment washed over me.
I came to the Czech Republic at the bottom of that hill, and as time passes here, as I grow and learn and experience, I am making my way towards the top. At the top lies disovery of myself and what path I will be taking in this life- so the longer I'm here the closer I am to getting there. And I do believe that before I return home- I will have reached the top. I will be in tune with who I am, content in my own skin, confident in my knowledge, my beliefs, my potential- and with a rather good idea of where I want life to take me.

So I may have literally climbed a mountain today- reached the top,
but I'm still climbing my metaphoric mountain- and I've got plenty of time before I reach the top- but I'll keep climbing...because it's worth it.
So ask yourself, " What will you climb a mountain for?"
Place that goal, ambition you have at the top your mountain- and start climbing, because when you get to the top...well.....you'll see.

Cau

Freistadt, Austria

That would be where I spent my evening, and it was quite the evening.

I'll start out with a little preface however
I've been awake since 3:30 a.m., my host sister who is two woke up crying with a horrible stomach ache, and the crying went on and on- and I never ended up going back to sleep.

School was good however, during Art History I worked on my Czech, and then conversed more today in Czech, and had others speak to me in it as well. Slowly but surely I'm getting rid of English- so far so good.
No more english music
no english television
no english reading ( well except e-mails of course, but it's not my fault people I know don't speak Czech)

So Austria. The foreign exchange student there was from South Africa, and we had really good conversation.

But there was one person in particular that stuck out to me from the start of the evening, it was something about the way he was able to sit back and observe and listen- without having to be directly involved in the conversation.

However, because it was me, I was curious to know his story, so I brought him into the conversation, and this is what I found out.

He is from England, born and raised. His wife came to England, they fell in love
(she is Austrian) they went to Austria one summer and have been there ever since. That was 33 years ago. He is an artist, a painter. Of course after 33 years his German is flawless, and he can carry on quite the conversation.

It was very nice, after not having an indepth conversation with someone over the age of 18 for over a month- to finally have one.
We talked about several things, yet typically the questions came up, "Why the Czech Republic?" or "What do you plan on doing with Czech?"
and so I told him about my goal,
about Charles University- and it was in voicing that goal, that I realized it really is something I'm working towards,
and it was the smile that spread across his face as I shared my plan with him,
and the words he had for me after that let me see how possible it all is.
How this goal I'm working towards is in my reach, all I have to do is grab for it.

And perhaps I'm crazy, although I don't think so, but ever since I've set this goal my Czech seems to be coming easier, my speaking more freqent, my understanding more clear. It's rather inspiring, and it keeps me going along the the hard but worthy road to fluency.

The South African leaves in January to go back home, so we talked tonight about how we're changing. Change this, and change that. And maybe the rest of you can see the changes in me, but I don't see them. To me, I'm still the same person, I'm growing, learning, experiencing- but I'm still me, and I don't think I'm going to notice the change in myself until I return home- and then I think I will see it.
This is who I am in the "now" so I believe it will take going back to old stomping ground to see who I was and who I've become.
It's not something to look forward to or anticipate, yet it's not something to dread either. It's just simply one of those things that's going to happen.

And Simon and Garfunkel( Garfunkle? I dont know) well they are new friends of mine, and to think that a Czech introduced me to them, but they will forever remind me of the trip to Austria, and the internal breakthrough that occured due to conversation with a British German speaking Austrian married artist.

LIVE.
and do it for you.

Streda( middle) which to you means Wednesday

Today was super busy- and I'm exhausted. But it's the good exhaustion.

First I got up at five a.m., mind you not because I wanted to, but for some reason my body decided it was done resting and could go back to living. whatever, I disagree. I needed more rest.

I left the house early and rode my bike to school, because...

for P.E. today we went on a 20 km bike ride by the castle, so that's like about 12.8 miles, it was fun- I practiced using my Czech with my friends while riding- It was a win-win situation.

I then went to my two english classes, and school was over.

I rode my bike home, visited with my host mom, and left for Czech lessons.

After Czech lessons I went to a pub with a boy from my class, some girl, and the other three exchange students.

I went home for an hour- the boy from my class texted me telling me he left his cigarettes at the pub, and that it's my fault because I always tell him that it's bad for him.

Anyways then I left and went to the rotary meeting- which drained the already tired me, as I sat for two hours listening to Czech and pulling meaning from what I could pick up on and understand.

Tomorrow will be just as busy
I have Art History at 7
which means I have to get up at five
because I have to leave the house at 6:30
and after school I have to go buy my host sister something for her birthday
and then maybe go to a kavarna ( cafe) with one of my friends
and then at 5 I have to meet the rotary people because they are taking us to Austria
and I probably won't get home until midnight.

And it's strange here, because at home it always seemed like the school week passed so slow- but here ( probably since I'm not really doing anything in school) each week just flies by. It could slow down a bit, I wouldn't mind.

okay off to unwind.

Cau

Entertaining Thoughts...

thinking is something I do a lot of these days,

and since arriving in this country I've pondered whether or not going to University in the United States is what I'm supposed to do.

There is a whole world out there, and why not go here?

or somewhere else?

Charles University in Prague is something I've been looking into.

the small yet minor issue is that although they do offer certain programs in English, they are limited.

Your options as a Czech speaker, are much wider.
But this is the deal, if you will study at the University in Czech, you must take the entrance exams in Czech.

This means that I then have the time that I'm here, as well as the following school year to be entirely fluent in the language. It would be no easy feat, yet it is not impossible.

It looks like a challenge to me. Am I exactly sure it's what I want to do? No

would it hurt to shoot for it? absolutely not.

and in the end, if I decide against it, I'll have added a language to my list.
no harm done.

There are so many options out there, that I had allowed myself to be blind to. And it's as though all at once I saw the big picture- and I'm trying to process and take in what I've seen.

I'm digesting information, searching for more, and looking to find the university that's calling my name.

Before I know it- I'll be in University. I can't wait to find out where life will land me.

Where's your destination?
Do you know?
If not, it's alright, you've got time.
Go where life leads you.

It's a Strange thing...

Being missed, that is.

because it seems to me, that as human beings we are always missed at the wrong times, missed when there is no chance of us making an appearance of coming back,

yet when we are readily available- we're not missed. For it would seem that simply the knowledge that we are there, should we be needed, is enough.

Yet when we are finally gone, and someone turns to us, only to see that we are no longer there, only then are we missed.

Funny how that works. Yet in truth it is how we all operate.

It's strange how distance brings some people closer, and how it tears some apart.
It's one of those things in life that can either be for the better or the worse. Not both, like marriage is supposed to be.

Upon having the opportunity to appreciate the people in our lives- we generally pass it up.
Naturally we do so on the designated days, their birthdays, mother's day, father's day- but those are forced- so unatural, their signifigance miniscule.

And that is how I've realized a lot of things about myself.

My life mainly consists of people I appreciate. If I am uncapble of appreciating someone for one reason or another, they cease to exist within my undguarded box.

I make it awfully clear that I appreciate people as well- and I never seem to grow tired of doing so- although I do believe at times my appreciation is the only thing that keeps people around.

I was in English class the other day, and the teacher asked me a question I was less than prepared to answer,

she turned to me and said "what do you stand for?"
she asked it as plain as day, as though she had simply how many fingers I had, as though it was no big deal.

I have never once been asked that question, and it's a question I didn't have a readily available answer to.
But I've thought a lot since then, and in the event that I should ever be asked that again- the person inquiring within, better be prepared for what it is I have to say.

I'm currently reading a book and it states, " Once in awhile you have to weigh what you want against what you believe in."

and this i believe is true- as I have done it.

Yet I am also as equally guilty of letting what I want outweigh what I believe in.

I think we are all guilty of both. It's called being human beings.

So what do I stand for?
would you like a slight glimpse into the person that is I?

I stand for truth. I trust people in way that one might consider "too easily"- once gaining my trust you have all of it. However, in the event that you break that trust it is gone, and we must build it back up from the surface, which takes time because naturally I'm more guarded the second time around. I'd be stupid not to be.

I stand for detail. the small things, that many find unsignificant, those are the things that mean something to me. I know the things about people, that most observers are blind to- and in being observant to those things I am let into a part of people that most remain closed off to.

I stand for giving. Not things you can buy, not anything worth dollar value, those things in my eyes are worthless, they can be replaced. I give the things of which only one exist in this world, what I give cannot be replicated, reproduced. I give the things that you'll remember.

I stand for self worth. A wise woman by the name Katherine Whey once stated, " You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your life and affection that you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere." And that wise woman is exactly right. Person number one is always of first importance. I'm not speaking in the matter of selfishness, yet in care and concern. You have to worry about yourself, before taking it upon yourself to worry about others.

I stand for the struggle to the top. I want to work for all I get in life, I want to work hard, I want there to be days when all I want to do is quit. I want to feel from time to time like I'm making the smallest difference, like my work is not good enough- because when I get to the top, when I reach that goal, the feeling for it will be one well deserved. I had to work to get to this country. I had to sit in a room and sell myself, which is not the easiest thing to do. I had to sit under the watchful eye of two women I had just met, as I had to form answers to difficult questions..." In the given event that someone in your host country is bashing the United States, how will you respond"
and other questions that required tact and thought when prepairing answers,
I had to refrain from admitting that I would probably join in bashing it with them, as after all I was going as a representative of that country,
yet I had to make sure I included that ofcourse their thoughts and ideas would be respected.
One of two women wore spectacles and kept eyeing me over the top of them, as they were scooted all the way down her nose, and as I provided my answers to her several questions she looke unsatisfied with all I had to say.
Yet I didn't allow myself to waver, or lose nerve. I knew my opinions, my ideas, and I was not about to resign myself to taking it down a notch, and allowing the true me to take a back seat.
They would either accept me for who I was, and what I had to offer, or they wouldn't.
In the end I will of have worked towards one answer or the other- but it would have been myself that got me there.
I got me here- and the feeling that comes from that, well, it's one I'd like to continously feel throughout my life.

and I stand for more, yet you can't type out the innerds of a person. not all of them anyways.

On an entirely different note, my host mom was going through this book this morning, and she looks up and asks me,

" Do you know Yosemite?"
and I started laughing really really hard,
because of all the questions she could have asked
I do believe that was the last I expected

Do I know Yosemite???? OH DO I!
thoughts of BOO BOO bear whose name had been forgotten for hours-
and had been substituted with DOO DOO, which I insisted was all wrong,
soggy cold dinner from the rain,
and looking at the un-set up tent as though we'd never seen one before.
I think I know Yosemite.

Anyways I thought that a rather funny way to start my morning.

Yesterday turned out to be an amazing day. I met my friends around noon and we took the train to a neighboring town by the name of Ceske Krumlov, which some consider the most beautiful town in the Czech Republic. I haven't seen all of the Czech Republic so I can't make that claim although it was very beautiful.

We went to the wax museum- which was rather neat. It's not like our lame one's at home whic include celebraties, OH NO. this was a historical wax museum- with people of importance, people that made a difference. Not just people that make tabloids.

We then went to the torture museum--- and viewed very unpleasant methods of being killed.

We went to lunch.

and then we went to go tour the castle, which we didn't have to pay to get into because our friend works there as a tour guide and let us in for free. YES that's right my friend is a castle tour guide- at age 17. I wish I could work here, sadly I can't.

My friends also find it rather impressive at how much of what they say I can pick up on and understand, although I don't know what all the fuss is, I really don't understand much.

But it's coming. I keep telling myself that anyways.

Alright go LIVE.
make something of your day, of your life,
and in case no one has ever asked you,
"What do you stand for?"
If you don't know, figure it out.

Copacetic

I don't know what's become of my life.

Wait. no. That's a lie.

I know exactly what's become of it- but for the most part it is all beyond my comprehension.

Yesterday we went on a field trip to Germany.
This is what happened- I realized that I hadn't brought my passport, because I guess it hadn't registered that Oh I don't know, WE WERE GOING OUT OF THE COUNTRY- AND I'M A FOREIGNER.

So the head lady at school was like well you can risk it and go with us- but if they stop us at the border and won't let you through we will have to leave you at the border and pick you back up when we leave.
She ended mind you by saying "I'd risk it"

And her was my train of thought---Either I'd have a story about spending the day in Germany, or I'd have a story about spending the day on the German border, either way it was worth it to me- so I went- to Germany PASSPORT- LESS

and got in, and enjoyed my day in Zweisel, Germany very much.

Okay now get this-
Saturday I'm taking the train with friends to go to Prague to go shopping.
Yep, no more Pioneer Square, Clackamas, Washington Square, nope, these days I go to Prague to do my shopping. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? WHEN DID THIS BECOME MY LIFE?

Because often here, I sit back- and am like WOAH- so this is my life.

Oh and next Thursday night I'm going to Austria- I'm not quite sure why- I just know I'm going.

Oh and I am taking these free Czech lessons three days a week
on top of the two hours provided by the school
so that is EIGHT HOURS of learning Czech each week
on top of the fact that I'm contstantly hearing the language everywhere I go, at school, at home, with friends, on my ipod, on television.
SO I guess you could call me a Czech addict, but if I want to be fluent by the end of this---it sure isn't going to happen without work.

okay I'm exhausted, and there are pictures of the field trip I'd like to put on here- but I can't because they have me in them, and if you're not in the Czech you don't see the pictures. You'll just have to wait for awhile. Or I guess a long while. I suppose it depends on how you want to look at it.

Get out there and live my friends,
because otherwise you're just wasting perfectly good time.

Germany

Ok so first things first. We got wireless internet yesterday so now the internet works in my room.

which means that I can now add pictures to my blogs.

Which I've already done to several of my previous blogs----SO GO LOOK!

Also I came to the conclusion that for the remainder of my stay here you will not view any pictures of me.

Yes, you heard right. No pictures of me- that way the difference in my appearance will be quite the shocker when I come home.

Last night I went to cycling again with my host mom- I have to admit it wasn't quite the ass kicking as it was the first time- and this time I kept my eyes off the clock, and the time seemed to pass rather fast.

Tonight we are going to Aerobics

Wednesday I have P.E. for two hours, ( last week we played volleyball, Breegan you would have been proud- I'm not all that bad)

and the rest of the week I will go running.

I went shopping yesterday after school----and GUESS what store they have here.

H&M- be jealous husband, be jealous. Although I guess I shouldn't have been surprised they have it here- after all it is a Swedish store.

Anyways I bought this little black dress- well because I tried it on, in a size smaller than normal and it fit really well, and then the fact that it was on sale. Well that kind of sold me.

Haha and then because I wasn't paying attention- I got on the bus going the wrong direction- and rode it all the way to the last stop.

So then I just got off and turned around- it was no big deal.

Okay off to go get ready- field trip to Germany today, which I'm rather excited for.