It's a Strange thing...

Being missed, that is.

because it seems to me, that as human beings we are always missed at the wrong times, missed when there is no chance of us making an appearance of coming back,

yet when we are readily available- we're not missed. For it would seem that simply the knowledge that we are there, should we be needed, is enough.

Yet when we are finally gone, and someone turns to us, only to see that we are no longer there, only then are we missed.

Funny how that works. Yet in truth it is how we all operate.

It's strange how distance brings some people closer, and how it tears some apart.
It's one of those things in life that can either be for the better or the worse. Not both, like marriage is supposed to be.

Upon having the opportunity to appreciate the people in our lives- we generally pass it up.
Naturally we do so on the designated days, their birthdays, mother's day, father's day- but those are forced- so unatural, their signifigance miniscule.

And that is how I've realized a lot of things about myself.

My life mainly consists of people I appreciate. If I am uncapble of appreciating someone for one reason or another, they cease to exist within my undguarded box.

I make it awfully clear that I appreciate people as well- and I never seem to grow tired of doing so- although I do believe at times my appreciation is the only thing that keeps people around.

I was in English class the other day, and the teacher asked me a question I was less than prepared to answer,

she turned to me and said "what do you stand for?"
she asked it as plain as day, as though she had simply how many fingers I had, as though it was no big deal.

I have never once been asked that question, and it's a question I didn't have a readily available answer to.
But I've thought a lot since then, and in the event that I should ever be asked that again- the person inquiring within, better be prepared for what it is I have to say.

I'm currently reading a book and it states, " Once in awhile you have to weigh what you want against what you believe in."

and this i believe is true- as I have done it.

Yet I am also as equally guilty of letting what I want outweigh what I believe in.

I think we are all guilty of both. It's called being human beings.

So what do I stand for?
would you like a slight glimpse into the person that is I?

I stand for truth. I trust people in way that one might consider "too easily"- once gaining my trust you have all of it. However, in the event that you break that trust it is gone, and we must build it back up from the surface, which takes time because naturally I'm more guarded the second time around. I'd be stupid not to be.

I stand for detail. the small things, that many find unsignificant, those are the things that mean something to me. I know the things about people, that most observers are blind to- and in being observant to those things I am let into a part of people that most remain closed off to.

I stand for giving. Not things you can buy, not anything worth dollar value, those things in my eyes are worthless, they can be replaced. I give the things of which only one exist in this world, what I give cannot be replicated, reproduced. I give the things that you'll remember.

I stand for self worth. A wise woman by the name Katherine Whey once stated, " You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your life and affection that you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere." And that wise woman is exactly right. Person number one is always of first importance. I'm not speaking in the matter of selfishness, yet in care and concern. You have to worry about yourself, before taking it upon yourself to worry about others.

I stand for the struggle to the top. I want to work for all I get in life, I want to work hard, I want there to be days when all I want to do is quit. I want to feel from time to time like I'm making the smallest difference, like my work is not good enough- because when I get to the top, when I reach that goal, the feeling for it will be one well deserved. I had to work to get to this country. I had to sit in a room and sell myself, which is not the easiest thing to do. I had to sit under the watchful eye of two women I had just met, as I had to form answers to difficult questions..." In the given event that someone in your host country is bashing the United States, how will you respond"
and other questions that required tact and thought when prepairing answers,
I had to refrain from admitting that I would probably join in bashing it with them, as after all I was going as a representative of that country,
yet I had to make sure I included that ofcourse their thoughts and ideas would be respected.
One of two women wore spectacles and kept eyeing me over the top of them, as they were scooted all the way down her nose, and as I provided my answers to her several questions she looke unsatisfied with all I had to say.
Yet I didn't allow myself to waver, or lose nerve. I knew my opinions, my ideas, and I was not about to resign myself to taking it down a notch, and allowing the true me to take a back seat.
They would either accept me for who I was, and what I had to offer, or they wouldn't.
In the end I will of have worked towards one answer or the other- but it would have been myself that got me there.
I got me here- and the feeling that comes from that, well, it's one I'd like to continously feel throughout my life.

and I stand for more, yet you can't type out the innerds of a person. not all of them anyways.

On an entirely different note, my host mom was going through this book this morning, and she looks up and asks me,

" Do you know Yosemite?"
and I started laughing really really hard,
because of all the questions she could have asked
I do believe that was the last I expected

Do I know Yosemite???? OH DO I!
thoughts of BOO BOO bear whose name had been forgotten for hours-
and had been substituted with DOO DOO, which I insisted was all wrong,
soggy cold dinner from the rain,
and looking at the un-set up tent as though we'd never seen one before.
I think I know Yosemite.

Anyways I thought that a rather funny way to start my morning.

Yesterday turned out to be an amazing day. I met my friends around noon and we took the train to a neighboring town by the name of Ceske Krumlov, which some consider the most beautiful town in the Czech Republic. I haven't seen all of the Czech Republic so I can't make that claim although it was very beautiful.

We went to the wax museum- which was rather neat. It's not like our lame one's at home whic include celebraties, OH NO. this was a historical wax museum- with people of importance, people that made a difference. Not just people that make tabloids.

We then went to the torture museum--- and viewed very unpleasant methods of being killed.

We went to lunch.

and then we went to go tour the castle, which we didn't have to pay to get into because our friend works there as a tour guide and let us in for free. YES that's right my friend is a castle tour guide- at age 17. I wish I could work here, sadly I can't.

My friends also find it rather impressive at how much of what they say I can pick up on and understand, although I don't know what all the fuss is, I really don't understand much.

But it's coming. I keep telling myself that anyways.

Alright go LIVE.
make something of your day, of your life,
and in case no one has ever asked you,
"What do you stand for?"
If you don't know, figure it out.