A writer and her story...

So I'm going to share a story with you, one that I suppose could be considered a personal story- and it might just make your heart skip a beat, although I suppose it depends on who you are, and what your heart skips beats for.

I thought a lot about whether this was even an appropriate thing to share with you. What is too much for a writer to share with her audience? Where is the line between what is acceptable and what is not, drawn?

And then I realized that I get to draw that line. I get to decide. And so as a writer I am simply sharing a story, and whether or not you choose to read it- that is where you get to make a choice.


Friday night turned out to be filled with unexpcted occurences that flowed through time one after the other, catching me off guard- and leaving me in awe.

I went to a birthday celebration with one of my friends.
We all met up at the hotel room where most of the invited guests were spending the night although not my friend and I, her parents came and picked us up at 2 a.m.

So we arrive and I am speaking only in Czech, and so I'm not really saying much as my Czech remains rather limited. And at one point one of the boys asks in Czech, " So where is this American that is supposed to be coming?" and I laughed as I had understood and I said, "Jsem tady" ( I'm here). Which threw him and caused us to get quite a laugh.

So then we made our way to the pub, and upon leaving we walk outside and it is snowing, and snowing rather hard. Never have I known snow in October. So this boy, mentioned earlier, he wants me to walk with him. But I tell him, I'm sorry but I can't I have to stay with my friend because she has an umbrella( yes, I was willing to give up walking in the snow with a Czech boy to stay under the protection of an umbrella- I'm very girly OKAY gosh)

And so this is how he solved that problem...

One of the other boys in our group had an umbrella, so he walked right over to him took it from him, walked back over to me, took my hand and off we went.
And then after awhile it became apparent that a kiss was coming, although it was one of those times when you arn't quite sure when exactly it's going to happen.

So I turn around to see if the rest of the group was following, and upon turning back around, he was looking down at me--we made intense eye contact--and then he leaned in...

And so there I stood under an umbrella with snow falling all around in a village in the Czech Republic on a cobblestone street wearing black pumps and holding hands while making out with a Czech boy.

And then we continue on our way talking, I, in broken Czech, him in very broken English and mostly I was laughing because I either wasn't understanding what he was saying, or he didn't understand my Czech- although we got a lot further in conversation than one would think- it was no easy feat, but it was manageable.

We finally arrive at the disco and I go off to dance ( weird right? Because since when do I dance??? I guess since now) and he goes to sit down. So my friend goes over to him and tells him to come dance, but he claims he "doesn't dance" and so she comes back and says simply, "Tahani, go for him"
and I was like ummm....When in Czech....right?
So I allow my feet to carry me over to where he is sitting and I ask him to come dance(in Czech) and he still says no.
So I was like okay Tahani, what are you going to do?
and then I had an epiphany and realized that I was a girl and that I could quite possibly use that to my advantage.
And so as plain as day I pulled his head towards mine, and started intensely making out with him, mind you, not for long, just long enough so that when I finally pulled away he followed me to the dance floor.
And so we danced.
and at the end of the night we exchanged numbers- so we'll see if life will make anything of that- if not, well, it was quite the evening.

Although I have to tell you I am still wondering where this girl from Friday night came from and why she decided to make an appearance now- but I'm awfully glad she did. And I believe I will get more aquainted with her as time goes on- I don't believe she is going anywhere; I think she is here to stay.

So I went to bed at 4 and awoke at 8, as my friend lives in another village and her parents were coming into my town so I caught a ride with them. I'm sure glad I did otherwise I would have had to be at the bus station very early to catch the 7:30 bus.

So i was thoroughly exhausted yesterday and I got home and visited my host parents and tried to stay awake, but naturally my exhaustion took over and I went and fell asleep.

I then awoke craving chocolate, and my host mom doesn't keep it in the house as she claims "it's thirty seconds in the mouth and ten years in the ass" which just makes me laugh, so I went downstairs and told her in czech that I was craving chocolate and would it be okay if I went and bought some. Naturally she said yes and so I headed for the bus stop and rode to the grocery store.

I bought myself chocolate and my host mom whole nut chocolate as I know she likes it, and as you know I'm all about small gestures, and I also bought a box of Orange Jaipur tea, because we had run out and it's my favorite. Little did I know how big of a deal it was that I bought the tea...just wait I'll get to that.

So I get home and give my host mom her chocolate which she is surprised by and she thanks me, but claims that it's very dangerous for her to have.

and then I unwrapped the box of Orange Jaipur tea bags and placed it in the cupboard with the rest of tea- and it was one of those moments where I was like "WOW" this really has become my home- I feel settled- a part of the family- familiar.

And although I have felt like this for quite sometime- it was buying that box of tea bags and placing it in the cupboard that reaffirmed that, for me.

And as I sit here this morning drinking my Orange Jaipur tea- from the tea bag that I pulled from the cupboard- from the box that I bought and placed there last night- I am at home.

And In this place I have become aquainted with myself in a way I never have before,
and although I believe I have been confident for quite sometime- I'm confident here but in a way I've never known.
I'm confident and edgey and content.

So my name is Tahani and I do belive I am on the right path to figuring out who I am,
and you just happen to get the opportunity to to watch as I do so. Although it doesn't matter if this writer has an audience or not, she will share her story. Why?
Because she can.

So thank you to each and every person that has walked into my life, that I have ever exchanged words with, if only for five minutes- because I walked away after that five minutes with something I hadn't had five minutes earlier.
Thank you- for giving me conversations I wouldn't have had otherwise, creating lasting memories with me, teaching me lessons, staying awake for 40 something hours straight, Thank you.
Because that person that writes is a product of what you have given, I have been shaped and molded from my experiences with all of you.

And to MY BEST FRIEND- you know who you are. We have been together forever- always has been the two of us- always will be. Thank you for believing in me, all those times when I didn't believe in myself- because I finally do- and you helped get me to this place. "You find out who your friends are, somebodies gonna drop everything, run out and crank up their car, hit the gas, get there fast, never stop to think whats in it for me or it's too far." You are that friend for me, and I for you. always. and because of you I have "No Reins". My love is unconditional and I hope you know how much I appreciate you, because even as a writer I can't seem to find the proper words. And I hope you realize how EXTRAORDINARY you are, and how you have an impact on people- how you have an impact on me. I am who I am, because of you.
So thank you for holding my hand for all those years, and thank you for being able to let go for a short while. JYAMM- always, always, always.

Tahani
as Alanis sings, I'm green but I'm wise
and as Jason Mraz likes to remind me,
my name is my virtue.
and just remember:
We're All in this Together